stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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