she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
