I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
