my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
