After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
