I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
