everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
