I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
