Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
