she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
