how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
