Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Randomize
