he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Everything about him screamed your future.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.