I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
