Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize