i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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