We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
