I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
