He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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