Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
