who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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