i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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