This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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