her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
