so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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