I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
