Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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