sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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