we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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