Just mADE A PArabola og urine
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
we should paint friendship bongs
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