If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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