Screwed.edu
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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