Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
