The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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