i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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