i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
