so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
