I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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