it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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