Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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