We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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