At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
