i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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