a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
