As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
