Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
