we made out on top of his cat.
this beer tastes like vomit already
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
