Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
