she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize