I CAN MOONWALK!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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