so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
