used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm at about main and main street
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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