You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
