I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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