yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
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The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
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I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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