what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
