Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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