Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
This baby is an asshole
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
