Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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