then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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