sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
